Trigger warning: mention of miscarriage

Read about my first trimester here so this story makes sense.

After about ten days the bleeding stopped at week 15. When I was more active, (and I am talking active like shooting content, bending down, and walking around, not exercise or anything crazy), I began spotting again. I should have been thrilled to finally be in the second trimester, but instead I was still worried the bleeding was a sign of something worse.

The high risk doctor told me I could bleed with a hematoma. I read about women who bleed extensively for months and go on to have healthy babies. But that feeling of cramping and spotting was just so unnerving.

I feel so lucky to have these two rainbow babies.

Thank goodness I could feel baby move a lot sooner than I expected, near the start of the second trimester. That movement, mostly at night time, was reassuring. But I still I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. After so many things going awry in previous pregnancies, and just with my health in general, it's sometimes hard to believe I could be one of those lucky women who goes on to have a healthy baby.

I tried to keep my mind occupied while resting my body. Eventually the spotting stopped and I was able to resume regular life. The worry never completely left but that is what pregnancy after recurrent loss and infertility looks like for me. And that's ok.

Pushing through pelvic pain to enjoy holiday festivities.

Meanwhile another problem snuck up on me. I had SPD, symptoms pubis dysfunction, when I was pregnant with Lincoln. The pain started around 14 weeks and came on pretty suddenly. I was expecting it since usually SPD gets worse with subsequent pregnancies.
SPD is a super painful condition caused by ligaments loosening in the pelvis. Now this is supposed to happen to prepare our bodies for birth but with SPD the ligaments loosen too much too soon. The symphis pubis joint between the two pelvic bones becomes unstable and moves too much.

This causes a lot of pain in the pubic area, lower back and thighs. It can range from mild to mobility impairing. Before I gave birth to Lincoln I was on crutches because I could no longer walk without excruciating pain. You can read about SPD here. And I'll share more about what I've learned soon.

The last time I picked up Lincoln. I hobbled out of here.

Now thank goodness it's not all bad news. The hormone that causes this relaxing, aptly named relaxin, has also made my chronic hip and neck pain better. My endometriosis pain is also a lot less thanks to hormones. Hooray! I am used to being in chronic pain. At least with this pelvic pain, there is something to look forward to at the end -- a precious baby! Plus the pain usually goes away pretty quickly after birth. That definitely helps me get through the day.

At 19 weeks I had my anatomy scan with my maternal fetal medicine doctor. This was a big deal as it checks all of the baby's anatomy in detail. I went for this scan with my anxiety and hopes high. Everything looked great, all of babies body parts and organs were accounted for, and we heard a strong heartbeat! AND they didn't see the hematoma on the scan!

Big sis doesn’t mind the black and white photos.

This was such a huge relief. And yes, we know the sex. We found out with genetic testing around 10 weeks and confirmed with this ultrasound. I am excited to share with y'all soon!

I took a video of baby moving around for Paul and the kids, who couldn't be there. Sawyer was mad the video was in black and white, like all the all the photos so far.

Besides my Covid sickness, which lasted about ten days, I am feeling a lot better. I have more energy and am in major nesting mode. The pelvic pain is the worst thing but I have accepted it's not going anywhere.

I have definitely started to relax a bit since the anatomy scan. My miscarriage chances have reduced, and although there is always a chance something can go wrong, there is a bigger chance something will go right. I even took my first full length bump photo at 21 weeks!

I am now 24 weeks, which is another milestone (viability) that has made me feel more a bit more secure. Only four more weeks until the last trimester! Yikes, I better get back to nesting.